"My Grandmothers"
bring their messages to me during my dreams and my drumming journeys. They often add a wonderful dose of humor! I've chosen cartoon images to represent
each of my Grandmothers. Some are my Ancestors, some are my Spirit Teachers and this is a portion of their blog.
The teachings will grow and I will share on or near each consecutive Full Moon ... happy reading :)
each of my Grandmothers. Some are my Ancestors, some are my Spirit Teachers and this is a portion of their blog.
The teachings will grow and I will share on or near each consecutive Full Moon ... happy reading :)
According to Native Tradition, there was always a special person in each tribe that others could go to for understanding dreams, visions and foreknowledge of important future events. These special people are called Tellers or Seers. Who or what comes to mind when you think of someone who has this gift?...
A man or woman?... Who do you know that has a soothing healing touch, a comforting voice, a commanding presence?
I think of three very special teachers; a Seer, a Grandmother and a Wolf. Each in their own way, made a huge impact on shaping who I am today.
A man or woman?... Who do you know that has a soothing healing touch, a comforting voice, a commanding presence?
I think of three very special teachers; a Seer, a Grandmother and a Wolf. Each in their own way, made a huge impact on shaping who I am today.
In the Beginning - Spirit called!
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My personal, spiritual wake-up call came through a very powerful transformative experience of the "Dreamtime" in1989. Long after I survived my crazy making childhood, my life took a shocking turn when I sat across from this Native Seer pictured here on the left. Ted Silverhand was the first of my three special Teachers. A Tuscarora Indian from North Carolina, Ted is a member of the Bear Clan and the Sagarrissa family, known and acclaimed seers for generations. Back in Toronto, he gave me a Psychic Reading and everything he told me was bang on.
But two weeks after the reading... He called me by an "Indian" name... Who me?... One minute I was having an easy conversation with this man Ted while the face of a stunning male, sable Wolf was staring at me... huh?... the next moment I awoke in my bed wide-eyed and freaking out! How did he? They? Get into my bedroom? How did he do that? Where the hell did the wolf come from? That was not a dream, so where did they go?! I had absolutely no inkling or idea that I was connected to this... this "Wolf Clan bloodline"... nor did my mother for that matter. Suddenly my Ancestry was not what I thought it was and my regular life as a young, supposedly white, single mother was stripped away as seemingly unimportant. I sat there in my bed feeling shock and utter disbelief. (I was to learn much later that my mother's biological father was Shawnee and his mother, my great grandmother was descended from a long line of Medicine Women.) I had no one to talk to for fear that I would really be labeled crazy. Who would understand this experience? I had to rely on guidance and wisdom that came from "something other than myself" in the form of three different animals that literally jumped into me along with a fourth ally that devoured me a few days later. These were my "Band Members"? Great. More crazy in the making, unexplainable occurrences! One totem in particular was the majestic Wolf I'd just met in the dreamtime. That was the first time I met Phoenix face to face, not yet knowing that he... was really a she. Coincidence? I was able to book another appointment to see this Native Seer two weeks after that and he recommended that I meet with "Grandmother Twylah Nitsch", told me to contact her and handed me her phone number. This all felt like a setup to me where I was along for the ride. |
The Call
must be answered for when the student is ready... the teacher appears.
I called the number when I got home and Twylah answered the phone! Grams rarely answered the phone herself because others took messages for her. Yet we connected and I found myself speaking to her directly. At the time, I lived on the nineteenth floor of a tall apartment building on the northern outskirts of Toronto. I was sitting on my couch looking at the sky when a real, live bald eagle flew past my living room window! OMG, since when did bald eagles fly around Toronto skies except at the Zoo? "Yeh-Weh-Node" (She Whose Voice Rides the Four Winds - note the connection?), Grandmother "Twylah" Nitsch; was a Seneca Elder and the most influential woman I've ever had the honor and privilege to know. During our telephone conversation, I could also see and feel the presence of four white spirit wolves circling in the room with me and I told her so. No surprise to her. These were her personal "Band Members" - that's what she called them and said that one white wolf stood in each direction protecting and surrounding her. She personally invited me to her place for a Women's Gathering. Her Wolf Clan Teaching Lodge was located on the Seneca Reservation in Buffalo, New York. Oh sure, I was going to find a way to go to the next big Women's Gathering. After that call, I walked into an opportunity to have my two young children looked after for the weekend so surprise... I was able to go. |
There were many more times I dragged my children across the border to meet up with Grams and friends. Whenever the cowbell rang Grams would come out of her bedroom... We would set the chairs around long tables in the living room and listen to her Creature Teachings and learn about the Cycles of Truth. I often heard the Spirits tell me to watch and listen. I often had visions in that living room and in Moses Shongo's little healing cabin. I felt as though I was being groomed for becoming a leader at a place of my own one day.
Wow! The moment I first laid eyes on her very solid white wolf, Gagan, I was hooked. I knew that I wanted one too. I decided that I just had to have a white wolf pup of my own. Looking back on that moment I realize that maybe someone should have smacked me! Ha, ha, I think Wolf did smack me energetically! It was in that moment that my love affair with wolves began but back then I didn't know what the future had in store for me. I don't think anyone can truly run away from their destiny without suffering the consequences. At least I waited a few years before I went looking for a puppy. Bonus points for me.
Wow! The moment I first laid eyes on her very solid white wolf, Gagan, I was hooked. I knew that I wanted one too. I decided that I just had to have a white wolf pup of my own. Looking back on that moment I realize that maybe someone should have smacked me! Ha, ha, I think Wolf did smack me energetically! It was in that moment that my love affair with wolves began but back then I didn't know what the future had in store for me. I don't think anyone can truly run away from their destiny without suffering the consequences. At least I waited a few years before I went looking for a puppy. Bonus points for me.
A Shamanic Initiation
I don't believe that a person can wake up one day and say "I want to be a Shaman". It just doesn't work that way. Just because someone can learn to cook doesn't mean they are a professional chef. I do think all humans are born with and later gifted with powers that they can handle or earn as they grow... some more than others. Anyone may be taught shamanic techniques to the degree they can perform them. Shamanic practice is exactly that, practice that builds experience. Not everyone is wired to handle what the Spirits can dish out during an initiation. (I have known people who did not recover.) But, I believe that you can literally wake up one day knowing that you have been called. A true Shaman or Medicine Person is "Called" by the Spirits and or their Ancestors. They are entrusted with specific teachings, some of which are not to be shared. Some medicine gifts come with a contract. In some cultures the call to shamanism looks similar to schizophrenia which is known as a type of shaman sickness. Instead of labeling these people as mentally ill they would be taken by the Medicine People of the tribe and trained to manage their gifts. If they survive their training, the tribe would then have an additional Shamanic Healer. It is not a career choice! It is not a choice that is made lightly. When the Spirits choose you, there are consequences if you do not listen and heed the call. For many years I kept my gifts secreted away and sometimes I thought I was really crazy. My hindsight is 20/20 though and I wish I had living Ancestors around when I was born! The Spirits woke me up - literally! I have been mostly Spirit taught ever since and my path has been far from easy.
The basis of my physical training is in alignment with the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, a non-profit educational and research organization directed by Michael Harner. I attended some of his workshops in California and I realized that some of the training I received from my Spirit Guides was the same as what he shared with us. For me, this knowledge validated my experiences and put my advanced training into a more comprehensive perspective. I learned that I was really at a University
level when I'd mistakenly thought I was at say, Kindergarten. I was surprised to hear Michael Harner talk about things that I already knew how to do. He made reference to lower world journeys to find Power Animals as he told us that "you can't go shopping, they choose you"... He got that right and I was in total agreement with that idea. He also put names to techniques that created an understandable context in my mind and he warned participants of the dangers of going beyond what one was capable of. Ok, my Grandparents were already my Teachers and I do trust their knowledge of my abilities. They have always warned me not to "bite off more than I could chew" so my radar has always been pretty good. I learned how to do soul retrievals by drumming for someone else while he retrieved soul parts for his clients. My guides would show me what he was doing and add bits of extra information only known to the clients themselves. After about six months, my Guides suggested that I do soul retrievals on my own because I did not need someone to drum for me. I am also grateful to Sandra Ingerman, for bringing a greater awareness of soul retrieval to the western world. I read her books which reinforced and validated my personal teachings and my direct experiences. Sometimes a certification course adds a little help here and there too. Although... there really is no course outline for what some Spirits have to teach and certain Spirits taught me very simple and very powerful lessons that I will never forget lessons that cannot be learned in a workshop!
I don't believe that a person can wake up one day and say "I want to be a Shaman". It just doesn't work that way. Just because someone can learn to cook doesn't mean they are a professional chef. I do think all humans are born with and later gifted with powers that they can handle or earn as they grow... some more than others. Anyone may be taught shamanic techniques to the degree they can perform them. Shamanic practice is exactly that, practice that builds experience. Not everyone is wired to handle what the Spirits can dish out during an initiation. (I have known people who did not recover.) But, I believe that you can literally wake up one day knowing that you have been called. A true Shaman or Medicine Person is "Called" by the Spirits and or their Ancestors. They are entrusted with specific teachings, some of which are not to be shared. Some medicine gifts come with a contract. In some cultures the call to shamanism looks similar to schizophrenia which is known as a type of shaman sickness. Instead of labeling these people as mentally ill they would be taken by the Medicine People of the tribe and trained to manage their gifts. If they survive their training, the tribe would then have an additional Shamanic Healer. It is not a career choice! It is not a choice that is made lightly. When the Spirits choose you, there are consequences if you do not listen and heed the call. For many years I kept my gifts secreted away and sometimes I thought I was really crazy. My hindsight is 20/20 though and I wish I had living Ancestors around when I was born! The Spirits woke me up - literally! I have been mostly Spirit taught ever since and my path has been far from easy.
The basis of my physical training is in alignment with the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, a non-profit educational and research organization directed by Michael Harner. I attended some of his workshops in California and I realized that some of the training I received from my Spirit Guides was the same as what he shared with us. For me, this knowledge validated my experiences and put my advanced training into a more comprehensive perspective. I learned that I was really at a University
level when I'd mistakenly thought I was at say, Kindergarten. I was surprised to hear Michael Harner talk about things that I already knew how to do. He made reference to lower world journeys to find Power Animals as he told us that "you can't go shopping, they choose you"... He got that right and I was in total agreement with that idea. He also put names to techniques that created an understandable context in my mind and he warned participants of the dangers of going beyond what one was capable of. Ok, my Grandparents were already my Teachers and I do trust their knowledge of my abilities. They have always warned me not to "bite off more than I could chew" so my radar has always been pretty good. I learned how to do soul retrievals by drumming for someone else while he retrieved soul parts for his clients. My guides would show me what he was doing and add bits of extra information only known to the clients themselves. After about six months, my Guides suggested that I do soul retrievals on my own because I did not need someone to drum for me. I am also grateful to Sandra Ingerman, for bringing a greater awareness of soul retrieval to the western world. I read her books which reinforced and validated my personal teachings and my direct experiences. Sometimes a certification course adds a little help here and there too. Although... there really is no course outline for what some Spirits have to teach and certain Spirits taught me very simple and very powerful lessons that I will never forget lessons that cannot be learned in a workshop!
Time for the four-legged Teacher to make another appearance
I decided that I was ready to go looking for my white wolf pup and I found a breeder who advertised on the internet. One must have special permits to legally own a "pure" wolf but to get around that, I opted for the next best thing, a sable female. In 2007, the Spirits made it possible for me and I flew to Saskatchewan to pick up my puppy, my (93% F1 hc) wolfdog, "Phoenix". Thunder rolled and lightning literally flashed across the prairie sky as our car made it's way to the breeder's facility. Thus began my partnership with Nature. My pup and I shared our plane ride home in the seat next to a Lakota Heyokah Medicine Man. The Spirits have a sense of humor and I meet the most interesting Elders. I believe we were set up to meet amongst the clouds. He had long grey braids and was wearing a denim jacket with embroidered horses racing across the back of his shoulders. He was literally flying/traveling backwards. Even though his destination was Toronto, our plane was headed to Calgary. I think both he and Phoenix came to emphasize my calling!
Phoenix presented me with many lessons and a dominance challenge to master during our time together that was bigger than my childhood could have ever been. Tragedy struck less than three years later at another airport in November, 2009 but that's another story for another time. Phoenix physical earthwalk may have been short but she made a huge impact on many who crossed her path. She continues to do so while she walks the blue road of spirit, still by my side. After more than 20 years of working and exploring my soul journey in the realms of ordinary and non-ordinary reality, I am truly ready to heed my calling. I have finally answered the call of my Grandmothers and my soulmate Phoenix, my beautiful companion Wolf...
I decided that I was ready to go looking for my white wolf pup and I found a breeder who advertised on the internet. One must have special permits to legally own a "pure" wolf but to get around that, I opted for the next best thing, a sable female. In 2007, the Spirits made it possible for me and I flew to Saskatchewan to pick up my puppy, my (93% F1 hc) wolfdog, "Phoenix". Thunder rolled and lightning literally flashed across the prairie sky as our car made it's way to the breeder's facility. Thus began my partnership with Nature. My pup and I shared our plane ride home in the seat next to a Lakota Heyokah Medicine Man. The Spirits have a sense of humor and I meet the most interesting Elders. I believe we were set up to meet amongst the clouds. He had long grey braids and was wearing a denim jacket with embroidered horses racing across the back of his shoulders. He was literally flying/traveling backwards. Even though his destination was Toronto, our plane was headed to Calgary. I think both he and Phoenix came to emphasize my calling!
Phoenix presented me with many lessons and a dominance challenge to master during our time together that was bigger than my childhood could have ever been. Tragedy struck less than three years later at another airport in November, 2009 but that's another story for another time. Phoenix physical earthwalk may have been short but she made a huge impact on many who crossed her path. She continues to do so while she walks the blue road of spirit, still by my side. After more than 20 years of working and exploring my soul journey in the realms of ordinary and non-ordinary reality, I am truly ready to heed my calling. I have finally answered the call of my Grandmothers and my soulmate Phoenix, my beautiful companion Wolf...
Blue moon Journey on the Beach
In times past, many people from all over the world gathered at Grandmother Twylah's. "Build it and they will come" were the words I heard...
Seal popped her head up in the Victoria harbor earlier in the day and I took note that a harbinger of Women's Medicine had come my way. Myself and two other women decided to journey on this beach under the light of the full "blue" moon that evening. Upon our arrival I saw a live blue heron standing knee deep in the calm lapping of the gentle ocean waves, waiting for a chance to catch a tasty unsuspecting fish. Herons have always reminded me of Twylah because I would sometimes find their feathers on my way to her place. The ladies and I hoped to start a very small fire. Andi kept poking it a little too much in my opinion so I said some prayers as I rattled in the directions. We used the twigs she found for kindling along with a sheet of paper and a smudge stick as fire starter. Kim tossed a little sand into his mother's bowl of rice so we offered the rice to the fire as spirit food. We couldn't seem to get the fire lit so I got up to search for dry grass to use as more tinder. I found some. Yay! ... Poof, flames! Andi stood and performed a flower dance as an offering to the Ancestors and Place Spirits. I didn't see anything but I felt the energy of her dance. We three introduced ourselves to the place spirits. I started drumming... I visualized the ThunderWolf Pack and petitioned them for our protection. Andi saw an eagle, a white wolf and then went off to do her own thing. I was feeling anxious and a little worried about possible noise complaints from the residents so I sent out calm energy to anyone who might be feeling agitated. I felt the calm soothing energy wash over us and our immediate vicinity. I asked for a healing for Andi... a large spirit eagle circled above us as I brushed and cleaned Andi's aura with a white tail feather. A gift of thirteen stones in a small circle on a hoop like the Cycles of Truth star blanket I once made for Twy's friend Grandmother Kitty was laid down between us. "It is written" were the words I heard over and over and over. The drumming stopped and we returned to the beach once more.
While walking back to the car and talking, I realized that Andi reminded me of my past travels to see Grams in New York. I gifted her with a flicker feather and a piece of bear fur because she told me that she had traveled far to "see the Bear". Hence the feeling of coming full circle, back to a beginning of sorts...
In times past, many people from all over the world gathered at Grandmother Twylah's. "Build it and they will come" were the words I heard...
Seal popped her head up in the Victoria harbor earlier in the day and I took note that a harbinger of Women's Medicine had come my way. Myself and two other women decided to journey on this beach under the light of the full "blue" moon that evening. Upon our arrival I saw a live blue heron standing knee deep in the calm lapping of the gentle ocean waves, waiting for a chance to catch a tasty unsuspecting fish. Herons have always reminded me of Twylah because I would sometimes find their feathers on my way to her place. The ladies and I hoped to start a very small fire. Andi kept poking it a little too much in my opinion so I said some prayers as I rattled in the directions. We used the twigs she found for kindling along with a sheet of paper and a smudge stick as fire starter. Kim tossed a little sand into his mother's bowl of rice so we offered the rice to the fire as spirit food. We couldn't seem to get the fire lit so I got up to search for dry grass to use as more tinder. I found some. Yay! ... Poof, flames! Andi stood and performed a flower dance as an offering to the Ancestors and Place Spirits. I didn't see anything but I felt the energy of her dance. We three introduced ourselves to the place spirits. I started drumming... I visualized the ThunderWolf Pack and petitioned them for our protection. Andi saw an eagle, a white wolf and then went off to do her own thing. I was feeling anxious and a little worried about possible noise complaints from the residents so I sent out calm energy to anyone who might be feeling agitated. I felt the calm soothing energy wash over us and our immediate vicinity. I asked for a healing for Andi... a large spirit eagle circled above us as I brushed and cleaned Andi's aura with a white tail feather. A gift of thirteen stones in a small circle on a hoop like the Cycles of Truth star blanket I once made for Twy's friend Grandmother Kitty was laid down between us. "It is written" were the words I heard over and over and over. The drumming stopped and we returned to the beach once more.
While walking back to the car and talking, I realized that Andi reminded me of my past travels to see Grams in New York. I gifted her with a flicker feather and a piece of bear fur because she told me that she had traveled far to "see the Bear". Hence the feeling of coming full circle, back to a beginning of sorts...
Full Circle...
Part of my personal Vision is about blending the wisdom of the Grandmothers with the Medicine of Wolf. I am learning how to transform my personal cyclic rhythms to align with Nature's cycles even though I still have to follow the Gregorian calendar. We all cycle like the seasons for we have seasons of our own. I no longer bleed and my Grandmothers have named me "Grandmother SilverBear". Black wolves phase to silver as they age and my own hair is turning grey. Metal swords are forged and silver holds intuitive, reflective properties. I find that the name suits me now. I've grown into the name.
Like Phoenix and her namesake, I have risen from the ashes of my own cycles once again and I continue to rebuild my home and my life. I am on my path and Phoenix walks by my side in spirit until the time is right for her to don her new robes as one of my physical pack. An extraordinary phase of building my dream is in full swing. I have spent the past few years following the Devic blueprint for developing the Art Gallery, the Medicine Lodge and Sanctuary.
I have seen and I journey with each of my ThunderWolf Pack; Blade, Hematite, Akasha, Druid, Phoenix and Lucas. Just as Phoenix was prophesied and came to be... It is so. Another circle, another cycle begins this year, 2017.
Part of my personal Vision is about blending the wisdom of the Grandmothers with the Medicine of Wolf. I am learning how to transform my personal cyclic rhythms to align with Nature's cycles even though I still have to follow the Gregorian calendar. We all cycle like the seasons for we have seasons of our own. I no longer bleed and my Grandmothers have named me "Grandmother SilverBear". Black wolves phase to silver as they age and my own hair is turning grey. Metal swords are forged and silver holds intuitive, reflective properties. I find that the name suits me now. I've grown into the name.
Like Phoenix and her namesake, I have risen from the ashes of my own cycles once again and I continue to rebuild my home and my life. I am on my path and Phoenix walks by my side in spirit until the time is right for her to don her new robes as one of my physical pack. An extraordinary phase of building my dream is in full swing. I have spent the past few years following the Devic blueprint for developing the Art Gallery, the Medicine Lodge and Sanctuary.
I have seen and I journey with each of my ThunderWolf Pack; Blade, Hematite, Akasha, Druid, Phoenix and Lucas. Just as Phoenix was prophesied and came to be... It is so. Another circle, another cycle begins this year, 2017.
Since I was 18, I have wanted a Doberman. I have come full circle to begin anew with my new Dobie puppy, "Blade". He was born on April 27, 2017.
More stories, more teachings, more messages. Until the next full moon...
Many Blessings from our hearts to yours
More stories, more teachings, more messages. Until the next full moon...
Many Blessings from our hearts to yours